Cracking Open - Mars in Cancer
Squatting down, underneath the canteen table wearing protective glasses, and earplugs in my ears, I hear somebody comment: „I feel like being underwater “. That´s right, my senses feel off. This whole situation feels threatening despite the protective gear. How can I evaluate the situation properly if I feel so numbed out? Why did I get to this situation in the first place? Is this actually a protection or an unnecessary barrier that slows me down? All I can think about is how fragile and soft I feel inside. I feel like I´m swimming in the emotional soup of the collective emotion. Despite the protective gear and the real circumstances, my body is under enormous stress. I keep telling myself "This is just a training". But you can never fool your body, your gut instinct. You could almost cut through the tension in the air that´s how thick it feels. You can hear the gunshots in the distance and you have no idea if/when/who is going to enter the room and threaten you. The moment...