Cracking Open - Mars in Cancer

Squatting down, underneath the canteen table wearing protective glasses, and earplugs in my ears, I hear somebody comment: „I feel like being underwater “. That´s right, my senses feel off. This whole situation feels threatening despite the protective gear. How can I evaluate the situation properly if I feel so numbed out? Why did I get to this situation in the first place? Is this actually a protection or an unnecessary barrier that slows me down? 
All I can think about is how fragile and soft I feel inside. I feel like I´m swimming in the emotional soup of the collective emotion. Despite the protective gear and the real circumstances, my body is under enormous stress. I keep telling myself "This is just a training". But you can never fool your body, your gut instinct. You could almost cut through the tension in the air that´s how thick it feels. You can hear the gunshots in the distance and you have no idea if/when/who is going to enter the room and threaten you. The moment I hear the attacker enter the room, I feel my rational self is out of the window. I´m in a survival mode. 

This is Mars in Cancer territory. 
In Cancer, Mars is in the sign of its fall, opposite to its exalted placement in the sign of Capricorn. It is in a low position. How does the weapon serve to Cancer warrior? Imagine how it feels to have a knife that can both attack an aggressor but also hurt in an attempt to protect what´s dearest and closest in the familiar environment. Mars in Cancer is a double-edged sword. There is a heightened awareness of the possibility of hurting people around me but at the same time, it is necessary to cut into things both literally and metaphorically and bring necessary conflict into relationships. 
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The use of power, being a source of aggression feels deeply uncomfortable for Mars in Cancer. Mars in Cancer archetype carries contradictory themes of life and death, sensitivity, and aggression. Mars in Cancer is a trigger to itself given by the contradictory nature of Mars and Moon, the domicile ruler of Cancer.

Mars – a solar, masculine principle that represents drive and action, the active principle that is all about moving forward in a linear fashion, cutting off unnecessary distractions, removing inhibitions, being merciless and even cruel at times, and getting what he wants at all cost. Mars's principal is individualistic in nature, not being concerned with relational ties.
Cancer – feminine, lunar qualities of this sign represent things that are tender and vulnerable, things that require protection. The Cancer archetype is deeply interconnected with its immediate environment and intimate relational tieswithin.    

Mars in the home sign of the Moon is always in a state of flux, having high awareness of ever-so-slight changes within its environment. Imagine a mother, one of the traditional significations of the Moon, attending to the needs of her baby. They are constantly shifting and it is often really hard to figure out what the baby needs at a given moment. Babies are not linear creatures nor they are predictable in their needs. Mom´s greatest asset is patience and sensitivity. 

Imagine a warrior, one of the traditional significations of Mars, having to step into this tender territory, having to take care of the baby. Warrior is trained to be strong and tough, to handle situations that are dangerous and violent. His weapons won´t help him with the job and he might accidentally hurt the baby. Imagine the frustration and fear this might result in. „My weapons and my strength are of no use here. It might even cause more damage if I don´t suppress my natural inclinations.“ 

Imagine being extremely soft and hard at the same time. This is what Mars in Cancer archetype carries within. You can´t make the internal space less sensitive no matter how hard the shell is. 

Imagine a warrior having to constantly work through this level of sensitivity and unpredictability to move ahead with his quest. These conditions do not exactly support his typical forward marching mission. Cancer is not going about things in a straightforward way, doesn´t face things head-on, and tends to avoid direct confrontation. 

Mars in Cancer is a cyclical creature.  There is a slow, feminine kind of rhytm present: „One step forward, two steps back, opening softly and carefully and retracting back into the safety of its hard shell.    
 
But Mars is still Mars. He won´t turn into a mother just because he has to take care of a baby. He is still ambitious. He still desires action, he has his motivations. He can´t avoid confrontation if he wants his desires to be met. 

But it takes time before he cuts into things. When conflict is unresolved, it doesn´t disappear. What we suppress is under greater pressure and so the amount of pressure is constantly building up. Imagine the pressure cooker. You hear the noise, things are simmering under the lid. They seem safe under the lid but the pressure is noticeable at all times and there is an ever-present danger of explosion if you don´t let out the steam at the right time. 
Getting out of control feels threatening for Mars in Cancer and so he tends to hold things under the lid for way too long and rather bear with the constant pressure. 

The emotional intensity is often so intense that it seems like it is too much to have feelings in the situation. Mars in Cancer way too often sacrifices his emotional well-being to accommodate others, feeling like being walked over by others and increasingly growing more angry and resentful. 

The crab that is symbolically connected to the sign of Cancer beautifully expresses the contradictory tensions of this sign. Crab carries a hard shell, an outer skeleton that provides it with stable support and that protects its soft, vulnerable body. A crab goes through a regular renewal cycle throughout its life. Its life is markedly non-linear, taking place in cycles. Crab can't stay in its hard shell forever or it would die. When its current shell starts to feel tight, it has to go through a very painful process where it has to break open the old skeleton and climb out. The new shell is already present on its body, but the crab's body remains soft and very vulnerable for some time. 

Mars entered Cancer at the beginning of September and will be with us until mid-April 2025, with a month-long break in November of this year. That is a long time for Mars to spend in one sign. Even though we might not have this natal placement, we all have a sign of Cancer in our charts. And with Mars present in this uncomfortable place for so long, we might feel growing discomfort. 

Like a crab, we may experience growing pains. The shell that has been fitting until now can suddenly start to pressure us. Pressure always causes discomfort. At such times, crabs often withdraw into their shell, into their familiar environment, to restore their inner environment. However, we may find that the strategies that have helped us so far, that the environment we have been a part of, are no longer sufficient, and that we need to grow up and leave our current shell. 

Pain, although unpleasant and unsought, forces us to change and shows us the way "how and where". Change is a process that gradually leads us from a point of stagnation to a point where the current situation is already so unsatisfactory that we sacrifice a sense of comfort and safety…and venture into unknown waters.  

Let’s stay tender while our new shell is hardening, this is our chance to leave our old shell behind…

Keep hope alive, keep dreaming.
Petra